By: Zach Fulwood
Commitment is fun. Or, at least, perceived commitment is fun. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, it feels good to believe that there is a baseline of agreed upon commitment between you and another person that you’ve chosen to engage with romantically. Wait, this is confusing. This is literally just as confusing as being in a relationship without a title.
No one should be in a relationship with someone without some level of clarification of what you are to one another. Are you just friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, or friends who like to fondle each other from time to time? The exact label of what you are doesn’t really matter. The fact that you both have an understanding of what you are within the relationship is what matters and really counts. No matter what people try to tell you, labels matter.
Have you ever had someone ask you, “what are we,” at some point while you were dating them? This is the type of question that comes up because of a lack of communication and clarity. People like to know where they stand, especially if they’re investing their time and energy into it. If for no other reason, so they can know how to make their next move accordingly.
Think of it this way. Imagine being given a promotion at work to where you’re now the Director of your department but, you weren’t given the title of Director, your pay didn’t increase, and you were still responsible for the workload of a Director. Would you be satisfied continuing to work there? I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t and this is essentially what being in a relationship without a title is like.
The longer you’re in a relationship with someone without a title or a label, the more the expectations of you begin to increase while the commitment level to you gets to remain the same. It’s an unfair exchange at the end of the day and usually only benefits one of the participating parties.
The worst thing that can exist within a relationship is ambiguity. Roles and expectations should always be clearly defined. The moment they’re not, issues arise. It’s okay for relationship dynamics to be confusing to people outside of the relationship. However, the relationship should never be confusing for those within it.
Categories: Relationships
Culturally Biased 
Leave a comment