(Image Courtesy of: BET.com)
By: Zach Fulwood
Since the beginning of time, it has always been assumed that men should be the one to initiate conversation and interest in any woman that they deem worthy of getting to know. Men are looked at as the pursuers and women are viewed as the one who is to be pursued. But, in an era of gender equality and women empowerment, should this old way of thinking still be relevant today?
Let’s be honest here. No one likes being the first to initiate any type of conversation out of thin air. Some people may not mind it if they have to do it but, nobody genuinely looks forward to doing it. You don’t know this person and they don’t know you. There’s no rapport built up beforehand and there’s typically very little to go on that would indicate this person is open for conversation. Naturally, it’s an awkward position to be in. It’s also a position that men have frequently found themselves in time and time again. Maybe, it’s time to reverse the roles.
Whenever I imagine a society where women were to make the first move, I’m often reminded of an old Chris Rock joke about how easy it is for women to turn down men versus how hard it is for men to turn down women. It’s so much easier for women because men are pursuing them at a much higher rate than they are pursuing men. Whether it be because of social norms or personal upbringing, women aren’t typically putting themselves on the line to possibly be rejected. Whereas, men have basically been conditioned to learn how to deal with rejection because of how often we’re in the position of pursuit.
Dealing with rejection isn’t the only potential barrier when it comes to women approaching men. There’s also the stigma surrounding women who approach men and the men who allow it. Right or wrong, a woman who approaches a man is looked at as “fast” or “loose” in our society because she chose not to wait for a man to make the decision to pursue her. Conversely, a man that allows a woman to pursue them is looked at as “less than” or “soft” because they’ve essentially given in to allowing the woman to control the outcome of the relationship. These stigmas are rather unfair considering how progressive today’s society claims to be. I mean, should a man have his manhood questioned simply because a woman approached him and asked him out on a date? It could be me but, this line of thinking seems a bit antiquated.
To be honest, I’m not sure it matters who approaches who first. I still intend on approaching any woman I feel is a potential match but I’m also not opposed to a woman approaching me and shooting her shot. At the end of the day, we’re all trying to find love and if you see something you want, go for it. Don’t let perceived gender roles stop you from finding your happily ever after.
Categories: Lifestyle
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