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By: Zach Fulwood

Valentine’s Day is soon approaching and even in the era of COVID, nothing will get in the way of people choosing to spend their day with the person they love. Even if they are forced to have a romantic Zoom call with some virtual four-play added in, love will be in the air for those who have someone to share that day with. As for those who don’t, maybe next year! No seriously, you’re actually probably better off sitting this one out and really thinking about what it is that you truly want in a relationship. Let me explain…

Recently, I was talking with a friend about relationships because, why not? She brought up a couple of good points about why the media we consume dictates how we approach the pursuit of a relationship and the fact we’re constantly being affirmed that our self worth and value is somehow predicated on if we’re in a relationship or not. All very astute points even if they are ones that we already knew. However, one point stood out to me in our conversation and it was one that I had never noticed (probably because I’m a guy). She argued that the story of Cinderella (and others like it) can be very harmful to women because of the idea that they have to change themselves in order to be desired.

When looking at the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming, that’s exactly what happened. From the very beginning, women were being groomed for Prince Charming in hopes of becoming the next princess. Even after he met Cinderella and tried to find her again, women lined up trying to force themselves into a slipper that didn’t belong to them all for the purposes of being the woman he chose. The funny thing is, these women knew nothing about this prince other than that he was a prince and yet they were convinced that upon his choosing, they would fall madly in love and live happily ever after. These women didn’t even know the name of the prince. I don’t know about you but it’s kind of hard to get to the ” I do” stage without knowing the name of the person standing across from you.

Obviously, this is a fictional story and fairy godmothers don’t actually exist but it is a rather symbolic aspect that can be applied to our dating lives. The idea of having to change yourself in order to fit the needs of another person without getting anything in return isn’t new to anyone. It’s all too common for people, women especially, to find themselves in positions to be forced to part with some of the very things that make them who they are in order to appease the insecurities of the man that they want in the name of love.

Don’t get me wrong, change is good and is more than okay but the reason for the change is what’s important. Is it to better yourself in a manner of personal growth? Or is it to make someone else feel better about choosing you as the one they want to be with? Only you know the answer to that and maybe it’s just fine for you to sit this Valentine’s Day out so you can figure it out.

Categories: Lifestyle

Tags: #Love, #Valentines' Day, Cinderella, Fairy Tail, Lifestyle, Relationships